this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
434 points (97.8% liked)

The Onion

4703 readers
950 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JackDark@lemmy.world 116 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Damn near ate the onion on this one. God damn, how far we have fallen...

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The degradation of integrity is part of it. The Rubeplicans want you to feel downtrodden. Dont let them win. They're the ones falling, don't let them stabilize themselves using you.

[–] maniii@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Did you watch even 5% of the entire Presidential debate 2024 ?

Are we living in the same timeline ?

It was like two Granpas going at a verbal contest while high on ketamine. or fetanyl. or whatever drugs old people do.

Im not 'Murican, but y'all are effed to the tee.

Biden and Drumpf are BOTH TERRIBLE choices. We are all screwed for the next 50 years. Hunger Games here we come!

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Listen, we all post things before watching the debate. I think anyone sane realizes this. I hope seeing it play out hits a lot of people in the heart. What are we gonna do though? Scramble before November?

[–] maniii@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Oh I don't know. Maybe the DNC can now be honest about choosing a popular candidate, and changing gears, and playing to win the election instead of whatever that was happening on stage during the debate.

Drumpf can lie through his teeth and people will vote for him. At this point DNC doing even the most basic stuff. Cancel student debt. Not write-down tax savings, not low-interest maybe if you apply for these 50-form 100-hurdle govt-red-tape process. Cancel medical debt. Not ooooh we wont send you to jail if you dont pay for your medical bills garbage. Medicare-Medicaid for ALL NO EFFING EXCEPTIONS. Not all the BS of we made drug prices lower for some 10% or 5% of Medicare patients etc etc etc.

The DNC don't have any solid wins to talk about. This is why they can't run adverts blasting the airwaves with their "Mission accomplished".

There is always some fine-print and wriggle-out-of-this-room in anything that the Corporate Dems have engineered so far.

Biden was a stopgap for the next candidate. Remember? He promised that he wouldnt seek a second term? Liar much ? Stuff like this drives people mad. And mad people like to vote for Drumpf. Mad people want to watch the world burn.

So y'all need to get into the DNC, torch the entire structure, find someone like Drumpf but exactly opposite, the very Jesus of Democracy and Values. Put that person as the nominee , vote for Demo-Jesus until the DNC party and elite literally are crying rivers of blood.

That is what the Republizards have done to the RNC. Every RNC elite and power-monger better kiss Drumpf or they will be shit-canned.

[–] gramathy@lemmy.ml 38 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Oh man imagine if the debate was just a quiz show about 7the grade civics

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

God I fucking wish, do you know how many terrible politicians we'd be free of if it were?

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Listen, those two chucklefucks went up onto that stage with no right answers and still even up failing. It really wouldn't matter to the electorate if they bombed a quiz.

[–] vividspecter@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago

I'm now picturing this scene from Billy Madison, with Trump trying to answer a basic question about ethics in politics (although business ethics would apply just as well).

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

Well done. It wasn't until I clicked into the thread that I noticed the link. Trump pulling a Nixon level stops just seems too plausible.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 months ago

Ate it until I saw the thumbnail, lol. I asked why the fuck they have boys in their name every time?

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

The plot was foiled when a security guard asked them for identification and the response was, "I'M ERIC!"

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 9 points 6 months ago
[–] Silverseren@fedia.io 8 points 6 months ago

Woof, getting to the source website in that title was a long journey.

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago

Damn, what they should have done is bribed Donna Brazile.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I just imagine Kamala setting a long intricate series of physical humor allowable traps that eventually leads to the debate stage, where the boys fall through the ceiling, and opening their hearts to Pappa Trump live on air, so we can all learn the true meaning of Christmas.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

This except they just die in the fall.

[–] _sideffect@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Then they jumped over a ravine and yelled "yeeee haw"!

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago
[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

The photo illustration is pure gold.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Fire up the Bat Signal