transgender
Welcome to lemmy.ml/c/transgender! This is a community for sharing transgender or gender diverse related news articles, posts, and support for the community.
Rules:
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Bigotry, transphobia, racism, nationalism, and chauvinism are not allowed.
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Selfies are not permitted for the safety of users.
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No surveys or studies.
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Debating transgender rights is not allowed. Transgender rights are human rights. Debating transgender healthcare is not allowed. Transgender healthcare is a necessity.
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No civility policing transgender people. Transgender people have a right to be angry about transphobia and be rude to transphobes.
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If you are cis, do not downvote posts. We don't like you manipulating our community.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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For both cis and trans people: Please alter your username (if possible) to include pronouns (or lack thereof, or questioning) so no one misgenders anyone. details. This rule is important for maintaining a safe place. If you can't change your ID, please let a mod know and include it in your bio.
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Leftist infighting is not allowed.
Please remember to report posts that break any of these rules, it makes our job easier!
If you are looking for a more secure and safe trans space, we suggest you visit https://hexbear.net/c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns. While we will try our best, lemmy.ml/c/transgender is far more open to the fediverse, and also to trolls. One of the site admins of lemmy.ml, nutomic, is also a transphobe, while hexbear is ran mostly by trans people and has a very active trans community.
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fair enough, also .ml isn't my instance so I don't wanna be too pushy on whether options like friend or comrade are preferred here. @marcie@lemmy.ml might be better to weigh in specifics like that
tho I do wanna go back to this real quick
pronouns, in this case, are really just used to know how to refer to you. if I were referring to you without seeing your above comments I'd probably avoid pronouns (none/use name). other people who are mindful of this would end up doing the same or maybe using they/them to be safe. in person, it sounds like you don't have the issue of needing to provide pronouns (with many complicated feelings on that). in the same way that you say the trans community sees you as a person and not simply your assigned gender at birth, this isn't a request to box you in or anything like that. this community isn't binary focused or gender essentialist. it's just how would you like us to talk about you? if that's something you're not sure on, maybe a label like (it's complicated) or something acknowledging it's a complex topic for you. it doesn't have to mean you're not cis to feel weird about the weight of the expected gender binary in society. that can hurt trans and cis people alike
One way or another, Lemmy has many communities. Even if you don't have any preconceptions about women, others will. And even if it's all in my head and nobody on lemmy has such prejudices -- she/her isn't my identity, but my username is. jsomae is how I choose to present to the world, and I don't want femininity to be a part of how I present.
then to ask simply, how do you want people to refer to you when talking to you online? whether you include a pronoun tag or not, people are going to refer to you
Exactly the same way I expect people to know I'm Canadian. That is to say, I expect people to call me she/her if they recognise me or in the rare event my sex is relevant and surfaces ("my experience as a woman is...").
Pragmatically, most people will he/him me if they are Neanderthalpilled and they/them me if they are based, as is the rule online. :P (and those he/himmers will assume I'm American as well.)