transgender

Thank you for sticking up for us.

Sincerely, someone deep in the closet for reasons of personal safety.

Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

While I appreciate your experience, and of course all of us have been questioning at some point, it is important for building a thriving trans community. The rule stays.

A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

Creating a new account is safer, if your argument is you want things to be safer for trans people (re: not showing pronouns in ID), you must also understand that creating a new account is safer for exploration. Your argument is weak.

If they feel nothing suits them they can say (none) or (use name)

Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

I care about making a safe trans community, and making sure people aren't misgendered is part of that. This is how you do that. If you're not for making sure people are gendered properly, leave. 🤷‍♀️ But I suggest you consider it and keep an open mind about it, I genuinely think you have not seen the benefits of this policy.

fair enough, also .ml isn't my instance so I don't wanna be too pushy on whether options like friend or comrade are preferred here. @marcie@lemmy.ml might be better to weigh in specifics like that

tho I do wanna go back to this real quick

I go by she/her, but I don't want to advertise this. I have my own struggles with gender, even if I'm ultimately cis, and forcing me to report my gender in my username seems frankly gender essentialist.

pronouns, in this case, are really just used to know how to refer to you. if I were referring to you without seeing your above comments I'd probably avoid pronouns (none/use name). other people who are mindful of this would end up doing the same or maybe using they/them to be safe. in person, it sounds like you don't have the issue of needing to provide pronouns (with many complicated feelings on that). in the same way that you say the trans community sees you as a person and not simply your assigned gender at birth, this isn't a request to box you in or anything like that. this community isn't binary focused or gender essentialist. it's just how would you like us to talk about you? if that's something you're not sure on, maybe a label like (it's complicated) or something acknowledging it's a complex topic for you. it doesn't have to mean you're not cis to feel weird about the weight of the expected gender binary in society. that can hurt trans and cis people alike

I understand your point of view more than most of the arguments I've seen against mandatory pronouns. So please take my comment as friendly, I'll do my best not to be a rude asshole.

How would you feel about (any) for your pronoun choice? That's functionally the same as not listing them, people can still choose which ones they want to use for you, but it still shows you're supportive of people prominently displaying their pronouns. That or you could consider maybe a neopronoun. I personally really like e/em/eir. They're nice and genderless, easy to use, and, bonus, a mathematician came up with them in like the '70s (I could have the year wrong and I refuse to look it up), not because he was trying to be trans inclusive, but because he hated that math books assumed their readers were all men and he wanted to include women in his writing. (Singular they was considered ungrammatical at that point.)

Your own headline says that not all instances have this as an option. That makes it unenforceable for those instances. It is also unenforceable for anyone wandering in from a main page, because they won’t be reading this rule before posting. And then sure you can delete their post I guess but what if it wasn’t transphobic?

The post wont be removed, but I will suggest they change name. Repeated infractions might mean a removal, though, and if someone reports their instance can't do it, their instance will be ignored for the rule. The purpose is to make a safer space, we'll see if it works

And if you don’t know Bill Maher, good. Just know that he is a ghoul and loves to say ‘new rule’ and then spout the worst take you have heard in your life on a weekly basis.

👼 I am innocent

I can't watch maher cuz his gob makes my heart pump and my punchin' arm shake something fierce.

Man why couldnt Will Smith have slapped him? That was a great slap.

I couldve have that as my desktop background rn