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Ok as a non-racist white dude but I grew up in a small town and will admit to ignorance. I don't get the problem here.
I don't care where you're from I will ask your background it's more how you ask. I work with lots of people all over the world and I love learning about new cultures. If you're black maybe you're Nigerian or Kenyan. I don't fucking know the difference I just hear a weird accent so I get curious.
Now the rub to me is how you ask and are you being sincere. Let's stop demonizing people for innocently asking "so where are you from?"
For context I live in Toronto so very, very multicultural. I have friends from every background, but why hide wanting to expand your knowledge?
I wonder if part of the American problem is the fact that they continue to not come to terms with the fact that they're racist AF?
I'm genuinely curious.
It's because the question gets weaponized or used as a micro-aggression. Because of a person's skin color they can't possibly be a "real" American, right? Usually, the person can tell by your tone of voice or phrasing when you ask the question whether you are just curious to learn more about them or if you're a racist dick. But either way, the question comes at them so often that they bristle when they hear it even when it is asked out of curiosity.
You made the distinction that you ask when they have an accent. That's different to just assuming they must be from anywhere else because they're black.
Imagine how that feels? Not the first or second time, but after the hundredth time...
It's ignorant at least, racist at worst.
Tbh, I am okay with people who ask it if they’re just curious and not trying to bring it up in a weird way to other you. People can tell from the context