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Reddit has the same dynamics. Smaller niche communities there were awesome, the massive ones were full of toxicity. Here, the large communities are the size of small Reddit boards, which is good, but many niche communities here are unfortunately too sparse to thrive.
I don't think Lemmy must grow. In fact I like the relative obscurity that tends to make it a better quality of user. But at this size, it's less of a one-stop shop than Reddit. I miss the Reddit cigar community. They aren't really in favor, particularly with the left, and there isn't the critical mass to sustain that here. So I just don't talk about them which unfortunately leaves me less informed about what's going on in that world.
That so being said, I agree with the thrust of your post which is that Lemmy is just fine at this size. It is.