this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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So, I'm currently dating someone, and it's my first time dating. I was a kissless virgin before this but I’m not kissless anymore ^^. Anyway, we get along really well, sharing a lot of interests and similar views. They're a "newer" lefty, but they have a good head on their shoulders and are open to learning. We’re really excited about each other. We've talked a lot over voice chat, had three dates so far, and exchange a bit of daily texting. At this point, I'm pretty sure we're going to become a couple, maybe even for a longer time.

Today is our 4th date, but I do not intend to tell them I love them because I'm not really sure how love feels. I definitely feel attraction, and it seems very mutual. I guess my question is: When do I tell someone I love them, and how do I know when I truly love them?

Im asking because this is literally my 1st time dating and I have never been involved in anything romantic.

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[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

I've always just told people when I feel that early "puppy love", which usually is a bit of a shock to them. I hate that term because it implies it's not real love, but I do recognize that it's different from the feeling of love that comes later, when you're more clear headed about the future of your relationship.

As to fears about scaring them off by saying it to early, it's a reasonable fear. People can be scared of commitment, and if they feel like things are moving too fast they could pull away. I think the right way to handle it is to feel them out by telling them romantic things that aren't a blunt, "I love you", and see how they react. Move it forward at a pace they seem comfortable with.