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Ada is a strange one yeah. I remember them because instead of just generally deciding they didn't want to federate with lemmynsfw, she accused the admins of lemmynsfw of allowing CSAM when that turned out to be from a confirmed adult model that just happened to have a smaller body, and when she found that out she doubled down. That's such a weird take from a supposedly pro LGBTQ+ lemmy admin, considering that accepting of people of all shapes and sizes is a core tenet of being LGBTQ+.
One time I posted a meme on Blahaj in which someone named Obvious_Troll@hexbear.net was attacking a trans person. Ada sent me a message about it saying I was attacking a real trans person. There is no real trans person named Obvious_Troll. I made up that username for the meme. Ada defended a fictional transphobic troll, because they were from Hexbear.
I kinda get not starting shit with other instances (Although, Hexbear should be the last to be able to invoke that), and it is still her instance and her rules there. But yeah it would not make me happy to be part of a community under those rules. Being a safe space doesn't mean you have to shield bad actors from criticism. Especially if she's not going to be respectful to good actors. And it really is weird how she comes to some of her conclusions (How is a non-existing person trans, where did she learn this?) and then still wants the same response when that turns out to be wrong.
This comment thread reminded me of a problematic trans group that is mentioned in the "Being phobic is sus: weeding out transphobic Facebook groups" Facebook group occasionally because that behaviour seems really similar
I've forgotten the name of the group though and will edit my comment if I find the name again and haven't forgotten about this comment
Edit found it
The problematic group is the "Trans Education" group run by "Evey Winters" on Facebook
The posts describing that group are similar to the what the comments here describe
I have edited my comment because I found the name of that problematic Facebook group
This comment is just to serve as a notification