this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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My dad was a mean alcoholic and heavy cocaine user. He was more abusive and mean to me than my siblings, I'm guessing it was because I was the weird one. I got away from him as soon as I old enough and basically only saw him at family gatherings.
He lost both his legs to diabetes at 53, and then cirrhosis which messed with his cognition. He had driven away anyone who could take care of him, so I took him in, started handling all his stuff. He didn't have the ability or power to be abusive to me, but he caused a ton of chaos in my life. He managed to continue drinking by paying people to sneak it in my apartment. It was a really rough time in my life, and I ended up having a relapse.
He died 8 or 9 years ago and I'm still conflicted about it. Honestly I was glad he was dead initially, but I'm trying to have empathy for him. He did shitty stuff, but he was also a person suffering from mental health and drug issues, just like me.