this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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What is your motto? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by FatTony@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
 

Doesn't have to be a life motto. Any motto, for any application.

Mine is: "Fear is shorter than regret."

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[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Give them a hand and they'll want the arm."

In other words while it's okay to help people you need to be careful and impose some limits here and there, as people are naturally greedy and will burden you for their own benefit.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

In my experience people don't ask enough. What something is worth to one is not always the same for another. And I've found my friends struggle to ask for help for what feels like a lot to them, even if it's not to the person they (should be) asking

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know a few people like this, too. But by rule my experience is the opposite of yours: people asking me help once will likely do it again and again, unless I impose a limit.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ehm, yea? And why is that a problem? Some people need help occasionally

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Ehm, yea?

Yeah. I am highlighting that your personal experience in this regard is different from mine and vice versa.

And why is that a problem? Some people need help occasionally

This is a problem because, as I already said: when you give them a hand they want the arm.

In other words, they start expecting you to spend more and more of your time, labour, brainpower and/or resources, solving their problems, to their benefit, with no regards of that becoming or not a detriment for you.

It's specially egregious in cases where the person doesn't need the help, that they're asking for help just because it's nice to have it.

That's why, as I also said, it's important to impose some limits here and there. Plenty people do not know how to impose those limits, and as a result they are taken advantage of.

Is this clear now?

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 3 months ago

You are either very cynical or have had some very bad luck finding friends