That's the conversation I was having with my therapist this week. I don't know. I've always massively struggled with this. Thinking about it sends me into a spiral.

As of now the plan is to look for other opportunities in industry. Some training is fine but I would like to avoid loans. I don't have anything specific yet, but public sector is likely part of it. I'm less motivated to help people as I am to make certain people miserable. Countries have started to track job quality ("job quality"), it's data worth looking at.

Depending on how that goes I have other thoughts but nothing that is sucking me in. Maybe I'll give up entirely and become a vagrant. I also have a viable non-expiring business idea that would de-employ a certain group of people I don't like. I'm not ready for either of those yet.

In the meantime I have a bucket list of things that I'm working through. It helps me feel like my life has forward momentum despite what's happening with my career (it's also opening up new doors I didn't see before, eg acting). Between that and therapy my job feels often feels like something I'll deal with later.

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

All devs turn 40 and quit their job, buy a cottage near the forest and start growing their own vegetables anyway, so you just need to stick to it for a few more years.