Think I've got Havana syndrome.
No but seriously - the state of the world right now - feels like every contradiction inherent to capitalism has erupted in the past few days.
Climate. Imperialism. 'Democracy'. Media bullshit.
Maybe my life's personal stress is compounding it at the moment too, but fuck me. I am so mad at the moment.
I find myself typing like a milennial cringelord, my replies filled with 'fuck shit assfucker fucking come at me shitfucker' type posts. I find myself not bothered to put effort into responses when a rage filled uppunctuated mess feels so right.
I often tell people not the mald. It's easy to get stirred up about online crap. I recognised this habit, this feeling of enjoying being mad, but in an unproductive way, and I stopped doing it. I never do it with singular issues anymore. I don't get into internet debates. I let it ride.
But these last few days? Its making me insane. It's one thing to recognise it going down. It's another thing for society to make me feel like IM the one that's overreacting.
And to think, I voted for Kier fucking Starmer.
And next election, I'll be forced to do the same so that Tories don't get in. And I know, electoralism is a sham, but I don't think people comprehend just how bad Tories have been for Britain in the last 20 years. Especially for my sector. I do find Labour - even Starmer's Labour - a lot better in quite a few ways. But on key issues? I fucking hate them. I hate them with all my bile. Maybe I need to just move to Corbyn's borough so I can make sure he stomps some ghoul again.
Anyway. I'm fine.
But as I sit here anticipating the new wave of absolute garbage propaganda I'm going to be fed over the coming weeks, a vignette from a Chinese movie called A Touch Of Sin comes to mind, based on real events.
Dahai's corrupt boss screws him.
Over and over. [SPOILERS] So he shoots him.
He also shoots some guy who is abusing a horse. And some other relatively innocent bystanders.
Anyway. I don't mean this as a call to adventurism. I would never kill my local politician or anything, not only because my life so far means I would find it very difficult to take another human life, but also because it is totally counter productive. But as a concept? As a piece of art on screen? The ultimate expression of a 'dog-eat-dog' world turned towards those who like it that way, is certainly satisfying to watch. As are many tales of vigilante justice.
Anyway, here's another still:
I think the stills could be great emotes if it wasn't so on the nose to interpret uncharitably. Undoubtedly goes hard.
tbh i stopped reading the news like two years ago and pretty much only listen to democracy now maybe every two or three weeks and its been a steady decline in my Mad At World rage
im in the states and other than an occasional municipal vote im p much done with electoralism
all i do is work & small hobbies & spend time with the fam. my emotional state is probably the most peaceful it has ever been but that is also partially a reflection of other work ive done to fix my messed up brain + heart
yeah that sounds pretty blissful to be fair
does hexbear not count as news though?
And how did you make the switch? Just rawdogged that shit?
I'm being moron and watching Instagram reels at the moment which is not so much like me... think it's as you said also a heart and brain factor. An avoidance thing.
i mean i don't run news RSS feeds and i quit any news media and media company podcasts and i dont open formal news aggregators or go to news media websites anymore
i only follow hexbear links to articles when im genuinely interested, and i wouldnt count morbid curiosity or any feelings of doom 'n dread as genuine interest. alot of the time when im commenting on here im being a
Bad User
and just making a garbage comment in response to the headline + info i already have (shocking admission i wont live down)
all of this is easier because i dont use social media either
no hexbear isnt social media. i have no proof im not just talking to CHINESE BOTS on here
re: rawdogging i guess i didnt. i used to use google news aggregator lol but i realized that was doin me head in. then i stopped going to big news media sites. then i stopped news media podcasts. then i unintentionally stopped going to actually good news blogs / global south and imperial periphery blogs, which i will get back to at some point
idk i guess the throughline to all of this is that i stopped eating up liberal moralization about consumption of news media and started prioritizing feeding my soul and giving myself a political education, and i started examining whether or not individual choices in my life were actually making my life better + helping me be better + making me happy
holy crap this is a long ass post what else should i write in here. drinking water and flossing my teeth has also been a freaking game changer and losing the ability to launch Steam has also been unexpectedly good