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I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 2 months ago by geekwithsoul@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social

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I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?

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[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We know Trump supports …let's call it "Genocide+"

Holy shit it's you, the liberal every leftist has been joking about for a year. I'm sorry we spoke you into being with our irresponsible comedy.

[–] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You really should be more careful. I could be in the room with you right now!

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 25 points 2 months ago

You really should be more careful. I could be in the room with you right now!

Everyone That Disagrees With You Is Mentally Ill And Mentally Ill People Are Fundamentally Wrong And Must Be Silenced, a bedtime story for scratched liberals.