The Onion

4696 readers

682 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

215

Self-identified independent announces dinner preference of “I don’t know, whatever you don’t want” (thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

HARRISBURG, PA ― Undecided voter and self-described “non-partisan skeptical moderate” Deannah Sole has announced that, in the rapidly approaching election for tonight’s meal, which is locked in a dead heat between Italian and sushi, she intends to vote for whatever will leave everyone with an actual preference unhappy.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Italian vs sushi? It's more like, microwaved hot dogs vs dog shit in a paper bag that someone tossed on your doorstep and lit on fire.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

but the hot dogs are a bit moldy so we might get a bit of food poisoning! obviously the better option is eating neither and starving to death.

[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

And then get force-fed the shit anyway.