this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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The Onion
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Here are some of the most well-known Ferengi Rules of Acquisition:
Rule 1: Once you have their money, never give it back.
Rule 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 7: Keep your ears open.
Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 16: A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
Rule 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit.
Rule 45: Expand or die.
Rule 59: A smart Ferengi can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit.
Rule 85: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 94: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 98: Every man has his price.
Rule 102: A Ferengi with no latinum is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
So this is another example of The Onion being way too close to the truth
It’s newsthump.
Treat your employees like family, exploit them.