askchapo

To not have the question of who's to blame hanging over every situation.

I grew up in a very abusive household. Where the question of "who's to dole out punishment on" was at the end of nearly every little situation. Looking back, it was excuses for authority figures to get violent over nonsense "blame/deserve/not deserve" rules. The liberal ideology of "This is just the way it is, and if it isn't, then it's X's fault and they deserve violence. Don't think about it, you dirty thinker. Critique of this system deserves violence." This zero thought produced harmful black and white thinking in me. It also led me to thinking I deserved endless violence and "that's just the way it is." They were always holding back being violent all the time or they let themselves go for it under what was actually their self-excusing system.

A good parent should teach you to ask "who/what caused this" and interrogate everything you can.