this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
41 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

22834 readers
90 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net
replaceable@hexbear.net
VILenin@hexbear.net
EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net
SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net
ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net
khizuo@hexbear.net
Sulvor@hexbear.net
41
Can you comment on or add to this? Someone told me don't think in terms of "blame." To instead think "who/what caused this." (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by HexaSnoot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
6 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

To not have the question of who's to blame hanging over every situation.

I grew up in a very abusive household. Where the question of "who's to dole out punishment on" was at the end of nearly every little situation. Looking back, it was excuses for authority figures to get violent over nonsense "blame/deserve/not deserve" rules. The liberal ideology of "This is just the way it is, and if it isn't, then it's X's fault and they deserve violence. Don't think about it, you dirty thinker. Critique of this system deserves violence." This zero thought produced harmful black and white thinking in me. It also led me to thinking I deserved endless violence and "that's just the way it is." They were always holding back being violent all the time or they let themselves go for it under what was actually their self-excusing system.

A good parent should teach you to ask "who/what caused this" and interrogate everything you can.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] D61@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Punishment doesn't fix systemic problems. Its cop-think. Its the, "you should just know not to do that", mindset that arises from lazyness or powerlessness. It attempts to give permission to not feel compassion while giving permission to feel superior without actually doing anything.

somebody walks through house and falls through hole in the floor

"Serves you right for not avoiding the hole in the floor!"

versus

sees hole in floor and wouldn't want to see somebody get hurt falling into the hole in the floor... then fixes hole in the floor so nobody falls into it