this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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askchapo

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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Carcharodonna@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 23 points 2 weeks ago

The thing I find most upsetting as a cisgendered heterosexual male, is that “manhood™©®” as a social and cultural concept is so disturbingly rigid and narrow that most males can't even do the performance of what is accepted as what “manhood™©®”. It's very frustrating that we are all meant to live up to an impossible artificial archetype. An archetype that never really existed and the values of which don't benefit the man nor the society in which the man lives in. It feels like I have been set up for failure my entire life. I cannot ever be the guy I think I'm supposed to be, nor am I ever capable of being the guy that some rhetorical “other” thinks I ought to be. It's a lose-lose situation for everyone.

Check out c/menby for more