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submitted 6 days ago by FumpyAer@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

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I'm editing a story right now, and they use this construction with no speaking verbs a lot:

Rachel was finishing washing the dinner plates, “I know this will be hard on them, but Shelby needs to go on home."

I know you could replace that comma with a period, but I wonder if it's common to use a comma or semicolon to avoid slowing the reader too much?

This next one makes more sense to me because laughing could conceivably be a speaking verb:

Maddie's laugh was laced with sarcasm, “Mark, looks like you’ve got a friend.”

That one could even be a colon...

Am I overthinking this? Should I just replace them all with periods?

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 1 points 5 days ago

Based on common prescriptions of grammar: it's best to use periods.

Based on what I'd write if I were in the author's shoes: I'd either rephrase the lines or use period-dashes.

Based on how I'd feel reading these lines in a novel: the commas are fine.