this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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I've thought about this a fair bit, and I can definitely recall a bunch of cases from primary school and high school when I opened up about my feelings and personal stuff; and it ended badly for me. It ended badly every time, and I reckon that's why I basically don't tell anyone anything about myself now as an adult. I don't even share most stuff with my partner, or my family - such are the scars of past experience.
I'm sure this is similar for many people.
It certainly is for me. I still have difficulty whenever someone tries to compliment me on anything as a result of childhood bullying that frequently took the form of merciless insincerity.
I hope you're doing better. Your life is worth sharing.
That term "merciless insincerity" is an amazingly concise yet thorough way to capture one of the pervasive things I get most frustrated by (across the many countries I've lived in, so it is not a georestricted behaviour). Whenever I try to describe it I get too wordy. I'm stealing that.
People are uncomfortable when a guy expresses negative emotions. Even those that process it well often seem unable to accept it. I hope you (and the rest of you in the comments) have either found a space or a person that you can be yourself around, instead of what everyone else needs you to be.