this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2025
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I don't know, but this comment from @Hermes@hexbear.net has given me some stuff to think about.

People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.

This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").

I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.

Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that's what I mean please.
I don't want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.

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[–] MarmiteLover123@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

No opinion on the matter, but can I just say that calling famous and powerful men incels, or trying to redefine the meaning of "incel" as "generalised misogynist" is a foolish endeavour that makes us look like idiots to whom words have no meaning everytime we do it. The word incel has a meaning, it's literally shorthand for "involuntary celibate". Elon Musk, Andrew Tate, etc are definitely not incels. This is obvious to everyone. They are misogynists of course, but by definition they are not incels, which is/was a word that referred to a specific type of misogynist that blames society for their celibacy, which does not apply to rich and powerful men, obviously. It's just bad propaganda, and calling rich and powerful men incels honestly reads like cope at the state of a society that rewards the type of behaviour they engage in.

[–] LupineTroubles@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

Words have meanings and these meanings are not and never have been limited to their most narrow etymological origins. Incel being a shorthand for literal "involuntary celibate" does not mean it is never allowed to mean anything else, much as auspicious does not mean it is seen by looking at birds. Incel at this stage refers to an online subculture and it even means this in languages other than English where neither involuntary nor celibate are used as words.

[–] baaaaaaaaaaah@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm on the fence, people like Tate are attached to the Incel political movement whether or not they fit the literal meaning of the word.

Like you're correct in that they're not literally celibates, what that's not really what "incel" means anymore in common context.

[–] CleverOleg@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It does remind me of the discourse around “Karen” or “boomer”… saying that someone in their 20s could be “boomer” or a some guy could be a “Karen”, when that’s not really what people think about when you use those terms or how they were intended to be used. Not really a fan of filtering out “incel”, but we should still be clear on terms.