this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2025
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If underage people are putting themselves in that situation, it's kind of on them. If they're massively underage, it's on their parents. These are spaces that need to and should exist in a society with healthy views on sex.
Idk, I'm a queer person from one of the oldest generations that grew up with the internet, in the age where everything was pretty anonymous, and even as a young teen it was really easy to discern the limits of my comfort with topics relating to sex and steer clear of things I didn't feel I could handle. (Mostly in the context of fanfic for me.) I grew up in a reactionary area with a homophobic family and literally only had the internet to learn about queer topics, including queer sex. I don't think children need to be shielded wholesale from sex-related content that they themselves are willingly seeking out and exploring — I think a lot of the puritanical narratives around "protecting" children are derived from the greater cultural tendency towards reaction and the "parents' rights" rhetoric that sees children as property. (A topic for another time is how outright puritanical society and especially the internet has gotten in the last decade, in part related to app store, advertisers, and payment processors' guidelines effectively censoring the web.)
Like you said, if kids are determined, they'll find a way to circumvent any age verification. If they're keeping their ages to themselves, they're unlikely to be a target for diddlers, which seems like a good thing for their safety. It's a bit of a violation of consent for the adults in those spaces, but I think adults should also be exercising some discretion on the understanding that they don't actually know the people behind the other accounts either.
On one hand, I see your point, but on the other hand, I can't help but think back to
CW: CSA
that thread from a year back dealing with the blowback of the time a guy in his 30s got involved with a 15 year old who claimed to be a 19 year old. There was a pretty clear consensus that he was 100% at fault there regardless of his intent with one highly upvoted comment saying he should be killed. Sure, there's a clear difference between inhabiting an NSFW space with an anonymous person who it turns out is underage and having physical relations with a 15 year old when you're a grown adult, but at the same time, the thought of putting myself in a situation where there's any possibility of having anything in common at all with that creep makes my skin crawl. Like, I don't care how good the odds are, I don't want to take a gamble on being that guy, you know?That whole thread has been thoroughly nuked and I was touching grass then so I have zero context for it. I can only reiterate my last point: I think adults should also be exercising some discretion on the understanding that they don't actually know the people behind the other accounts either. It's really, really easy to not do creep shit, all you have to do is not be a creep.
Your explanation does help me understand why this place feels way more reactionary about sex compared to before my grass-touching, though, so thanks for outlining what happened there
That's interesting, can you tell me how you feel Hexbear is reactionary about sex?