games

OK, its not much of a dilemma but hey, made you click! While I was visiting family across the country I picked up a couple really REALLY good n64 controllers, like 9.5/10 sticks! Can't find anything like that where I live, no chance, but these were just on the rack at a retro game store for 30 Canadian dollars each!

For non-n64 heads, the controllers had one major design flaw (aside from the layout, which may be controversial but is a matter of taste.) The joystick and housing are both made of plastic, and even through gentle use, the plastic slowly erodes over time from friction with itself. That's why n64 controllers are pretty much ALWAYS dusty in the little joystick well, that fine powder is actually joystick powder. The result is loose sticks. Not drift like with newer controllers, the input interpretation isn't failing, but the stick itself becomes very slightly smaller and so is able to move and jiggle a bit before the mechanism is actuated. Pretty much every n64 controller you find nowadays has a loose stick. After almost 30 years, any controller that's been used much at all will have a little bit of slack. There are a variety of replacement options with various results.*

So now I have two like-new n64 controllers and am paralyzed by my good fortune. I know for a fact that I have to open them up and add lubrication to the parts that grind against each other. But obviously they have never been opened up, probably barely used too. The idea of opening them up and messing around in there fills me with dread. I just know that somehow I'll mess it up and what was a 9.5/10 stick will become just another old ass n64 controller.

I have really been conquering my ADHD paralysis lately, I've probably done more chores in a row in the last two weeks than I have in the last year. But I just can't crack open these bad boys and do what's right, nor can I play games with them knowing that they are unlubricated and therefore degrading with every movement. I might as well get them slabbed and put them on display because they are too perfect and unspoiled to use.

• "GameCube" style replacement sticks have awful precision and deadzone. The current quality of new made controllers also have really bad precision. The Kitch-bent replacement parts I ordered were not the right size and needed to be filed down to fit properly. Brawler 64 types have different bad detection. I did actually find a type of whole replacement stick that doesn't work that bad, but still doesn't really feel the same as OEM. I can link to the Amazon page of the product if anyone needs a simple replacement for an original stick that can't be salvaged.