to an extent, it really does differ by state. however, housing costs went up significantly for both buying a house or renting in the last 2 years.

I live in the greater Seattle area, but not in Seattle, which is fairly expensive. I make about $50k per year, which is about $3400/ month take home after taxes and paying for health insurance. $1550 of that goes to rent. internet costs me $60/ month; I could get cheaper, crappier internet, but this way I also get to work from home a few days a week and enjoy online video games. power varies, depending on if I need to run the heat. for the summer, it's about $60/month, in the winter it might go up to $200/month. I don't do well in the cold, I could save money but sleep poorly and risk getting sick by not warming up so much. my brother has a deal for phone service, so we share a family plan where my share is $30/ month. I don't have a car now, I ride the bus generally. that's about $50/ month, but varies if I need to be in the office more or go more places than my usual sedentary habits.

if you're keeping track, that's about $1600/ month left after allocated expenses. I haven't talked about food or other household necessities, or any fun leisure stuff. you'll also notice I don't have any student loans or medical debt or a car loan. I did spend a full year unemployed during covid, and ran up my credit card staying afloat. so I've got about $20k debt that I put at least $500/ month toward.

getting a car would be prohibitively expensive here - in addition to the cost of the car, I'd also be paying $100/ month to park it, +gas, +insurance. I've lived in other states where not having a vehicle meant you couldn't work, because there was no effective public transit. usually those places didn't have the parking expense, but gas and insurance alone are more expensive than my transit costs here usually are.

I'm pretty ok for this area. my rent is pretty cheap for a studio apartment (no bedroom, just living area, private kitchen, private bathroom). my debt is fairly low, and my credit remains pretty good, so if I need a loan it's an option.