you mean the thing where people, often women, have spent decades trying to expose the abuse happening in private homes, and trying to get it addressed?

because that's what happened. women's voices, speaking about marital rape and domestic abuse. getting the political power to change laws, to make it illegal, and give domestic victims the means to escape. it also surfaced the child abuse, again. it's just not been buried again yet.

if one of these just ramps up the anxiety, skip that sense and do the others. trying to pick 5 things i can see is. ..not useful. ..in a panic attack. but closing my eyes and doing the others does help. it took a very long time before someone suggested skipping sight to me, so i share the insight whenever this method is suggested.

my cat loses it if she wakes up and can't see me. I live in a studio. there aren't a lot of "out of sight" options. at one point, there was just a screen between me, in my computer chair, and her, on the bed. we still did the whole call and response.

she doesn't look for me, she just starts yelling until I respond.

my HS graduation was on a Saturday, and my mom's attempt was the following Monday. so I guess this has that beat for awful.

chronic depression really distorts your view of things. my mom honestly didn't think it would taint my graduation or change my plans. sort of, like she was already gone from my life, so she was just trying to wrap things up?

unsurprisingly, even though she wasn't successful, she still managed to screw me and my younger siblings up for a fair bit. it's been 20+ years, and only one of us still is in contact with her.

my cat thinks "up" and "down" both mean "get off my lap".

she also recognizes that when I sit and talk to myself (voice chat) is perfect petting and cuddles time. she's well known to my therapist and team because of zoom meetings.

and both guinea pigs and the cat have all decided that we do cuddles about 830pm. I thought it was "after work and dinner, sometime before bed". but the number of times I look up to see what the fuss is, and it's 830 and all 3 are looking at me expectantly... I assume they figure the time by daylight, because it's not consistent when I get home.

for a lot of people in long term polyamory, it's about intimacy, which sex is part of. even if you have relationships that are primarily about fun sexy times, you're probably going to do a lot of scheduling to maintain those relationships, or find new ones.

I've allowed my partner to refer to me as girlfriend to make discussion with others easier. I don't love it, it doesn't sound like a longterm adult relationship, but I recognize it's easier to say "my wife and my girlfriend".

and both of us go to family Christmas, though not everyone needs to know relationship status.

... you're absolutely right about the scheduling thing though.

Roxy (cat) and Jasper (guinea pig)

paper calendars work ok. apps are better at collating and predicting based on past data, and therefore giving you a better idea when and what to expect and whether it's "normal".

apps can help you provide a condensed report, which helps when seeking help from a doctor. it shouldn't work that way, but at least in my anecdotal experience, the Dr who dismisses handwritten notes for 3 months, was more reasonable when it was "data collected via app".

I stopped using an app a few years ago, because of privacy issues, but there are absolutely good reasons people still use them when a calendar works.

I knew a guy in real life who got into men's rights and Men Going Their Own Way nonsense- basically, he had sex so he didn't qualify for incel, but he held a lot of the same beliefs.

I was the only woman he seemed to have any respect for. He didn't respect his mother or younger sister, felt they had taken advantage of his dad and were now taking advantage of him. The one girlfriend I know he had, was very manipulative and not a good girlfriend.

I pointed out all the issues with his thinking and his MRA, MGOTW sources multiple times. he'd come back around to being reasonable for a while, then wander back into the toxic wilds of the internet. eventually, I gave up; I can't be the only voice of reason you bother to listen to.

I live in WA state. the state and county response to covid seemed very informed and measured; they based policy on WHO and CDC recommendations, tried to ramp up and ramp down to make it easier, and were transparent with the numbers they were looking at.

We still saw our medical facilities struggling, especially as one of our neighbor states was not particularly great at covid prevention. so when their situation was bad, a lot of them came over here.

when Roe was overturned and abortion bans started going into place, our leaders realized our neighbor was going to once again flood our medical system. so they started stockpiling abortion drugs and doing what they could to increase support.

they're also trying to increase public transit, which I appreciate. it's plagued by corruption and delays, but they are slowly making progress.

I've had several ferrets, and intelligence definitely varies in them, but it's impressive what their little raisin brains can manage. watching them figure out a puzzle was the most fun.

but it wasn't always fun. I had a ferret with some serious attitude, and he and my sister didn't get along. one day, she shoved him aside with her foot and called him a little shithead. later that day, we found her phone, in it's nice leather case, in his litterbox. he knew exactly how to get even.

same little guy would push open the bathroom door if he could, see I was 'occupied', and then get up to whatever bad idea was the current favorite. it took me a bit to catch on, but I got it after the cute little weasel poked in, then went and dragged a family size bag of m&ms under my roommate's dresser, leaving a trail from my room to hers. little pest knew he had plenty of time before I could catch him at it.