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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked just to have a man that treats me right and fit in with straight women who have bfs.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Best advice I can give at 40 is simple: Don't worry or even think about dating anyone because of relationship reasons. Be the best version of you and make yourself happy first. If you are balanced and in a good place, you'll meet someone in similar straights and it will work out right.

Try volunteering in your community for a day. Just try it. Meeting people that are also volunteering is a good way to find great people that have the kinds of qualities that lead to life long friends. It will also put life in perspective.

Chasing relationships always lead me to bad places.