this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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I don't get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I'm not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.

I'm not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it's studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I'm just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don't go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.

Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?

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[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

I think it can be long term a suboptimal strategy.

A good relationship can take many years to grow, and it's very likely that your best partner later in life is one who was there with you during the grind, who knows what it was like before vs after, and has the perspective.

Ideally, who also worked hard on their own career at the same time.

It's nice to have someone to support you during that period of your life, who remembers the tough times and you can reminisce later once things are better.

My partner and I have been together for 15 years now, and we both very much nostalgia all the time over when life was tougher, but also simpler.

I think if you get a partner later when all the dust us settled, you'll never quite be able to capture that same type if relationship and you'll never get quite as close as you could've, cuz they simply just weren't present for that period of your life.