Ask Lemmy

29800 readers

1663 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

candyman337@lemmy.world

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

asudox@discuss.tchncs.de

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

KaneLivesInDeath@lemmy.world

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

Is it wrong to put your career first and push getting into a relationship further later? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by zerozaku@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

29 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don't get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I'm not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.

I'm not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it's studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I'm just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don't go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.

Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Viper3210@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

I'm surprised no one is really talking about asexuality. Sexuality is a spectrum. It's entirely possible and perfectly fine if romantic relationships aren't as important to you as they are to other people.

I know people who spend entire nights crying and reinforcing their dogs separation anxiety because they can't find a partner. Others that are much closer to retirement than college who have never had a serious romantic partner and don't seek one.

You probably shouldn't prioritize work over personal life. You also don't have to be in relationships if you don't want to. I would recommend keeping an open mind and not getting stuck on labels. If partners and relationships aren't something you think about a lot that's ok. If not having that bothers you then you might want to seek professional help to assist in figuring out why you're avoiding relationships.

Also keep in mind that basically every country on the planet heavily encourages marriage and children so get used to skipping all those options on your taxes and benefits.