this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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how do you engage with what's happening so that you can act? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 days ago by RiotDoll@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net
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I kind of saw this coming. It doesn't matter, because I didn't prepare. I kept hoping things werent as bad as i've thought. I've spent a lot of days since Jan 20 trying to thread a needle between staying appraised of what's going on, for my own safety, and trying not to give in to panic and despair.

But... life has been hard. I disassociate from scary stuff. Most days I don't think about things, while a little voice in my head screams, "You can't be sitting still. There's so much you need to do."

But that's what I do. I spend a lot of time trying to find work and make ends meet. I spend a lot of time just coping with my moment on a small level; the wider world seems unimportant when my day to day struggle is mostly... trying to be ok

but im starting to realize I can't be ok. I have a lot of time that's being wasted. Things are happening in the US that are about to make my life hellish and dangerous, and i'm doing nothing, trying to find a job and acting like things aren't going to be absolutely batty within a year.

I can't do it anymore, but I don't have a natural mindset that lets me just break out.

What are y'all doing? How do you overcome the urge to just... keep going on the track you know?

I can't keep acting like everything is fine. Nothing is fucking fine.

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[–] Jenniferrr@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

Yeah. So I have been feeling this so hard. Part of me wants to just always fuck it, leave the country and upend my life and watch from afar in safety. But another part of me feels guilty for abandoning everyone and everything. But also, what good am I from inside some camp... Idk.