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how do you engage with what's happening so that you can act? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago by RiotDoll@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I kind of saw this coming. It doesn't matter, because I didn't prepare. I kept hoping things werent as bad as i've thought. I've spent a lot of days since Jan 20 trying to thread a needle between staying appraised of what's going on, for my own safety, and trying not to give in to panic and despair.

But... life has been hard. I disassociate from scary stuff. Most days I don't think about things, while a little voice in my head screams, "You can't be sitting still. There's so much you need to do."

But that's what I do. I spend a lot of time trying to find work and make ends meet. I spend a lot of time just coping with my moment on a small level; the wider world seems unimportant when my day to day struggle is mostly... trying to be ok

but im starting to realize I can't be ok. I have a lot of time that's being wasted. Things are happening in the US that are about to make my life hellish and dangerous, and i'm doing nothing, trying to find a job and acting like things aren't going to be absolutely batty within a year.

I can't do it anymore, but I don't have a natural mindset that lets me just break out.

What are y'all doing? How do you overcome the urge to just... keep going on the track you know?

I can't keep acting like everything is fine. Nothing is fucking fine.

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[–] sewer_rat_420@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

I feel this so much. I am a huge baseball fan and I am excited to follow my favorite team, but even then I can't think to far in the future because like, will there even be a world series? And same with general life decisions - should we sign a lease on a new apartment, should we try to have a kid? Should I even be applying for better employment not knowing if I want to stay in this country in another year? And should I be spending time on any of this when our country is murdering people left right and center?

But you gotta focus on what makes your situation better, in the present, and what you gotta do to survive. Right now, all you can do is survive and stay abreast of enough news to know where things are going so when the time comes for stronger action, you can do it. So for now I am just focusing on one week at a time. You aren't going to be able to do anything right now to stop the terror by yourself, the only thing you can do is at least be plugged into a local org and be ready to act. No one expects you to work your ass off just to make ends meet and also fight tooth and nail against the system every single day.

You also should have an emergency plan (or multiple) ready, if you do need to leave the country.

You don't need to do everything every day - some days all you can do is go to work and come home to relax a little and do it again the next day. Preserving yourself is resistance, as long as you aren't giving into the reactionary thinking or just accepting the horrors - it doesn't seem to me like you have a conscience that would allow you to just accept it anyways.

Shit is fucking hard and it isn't going to get any easier. Some days my mental health is horrible, some nights I can't sleep because I am just spiraling about the direction of our country. It doesn't help that the media is gaslighting us into thinking all of this is normal, that genocide is acceptable, and it also doesn't help that liberal family and friends also don't get it or think it will be 4 tough years until we can elect Josh Shapiro or whatever. You just gotta stay strong, stay true to your morals, and try to get through the thick liberal and reactionary skulls that surround us.