this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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[–] drascus@sh.itjust.works 81 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Every time I see an article like this I think who fucking cares? Like what's going on with men? Its a generational and cultural thing its not men's fault. Dating sucks, people get rejected in ultra harsh ways, sometimes being filmed and then posted on social media for trying to ask someone out. If I was in the age range to be dating I wouldn't bother.

[–] shortrounddev@lemmy.world 39 points 5 days ago (4 children)

It's a problem to have so many single, disaffected men out there

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Might be a good time to downplay the importance of a relationship for a happy life then instead of trying to push the message that your life sucks if you don't have one.

[–] shortrounddev@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe being alone works for some people, but the desire for intimate relationships is a biological drive in human beings

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago

My point was that making people feel worse about their situation likely won't improve the outcome. People either would be happy without a partner or they won't and those who won't don't need an external push to try to find a partner and both groups might feel worse if they are publicly branded a failure for not having a partner.

[–] tane@lemm.ee 12 points 5 days ago

Yup and it’s a problem that only becomes worse over time

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Dude, you're not supposed to talk about Fight Club.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Talk about what now?

[–] drascus@sh.itjust.works -1 points 5 days ago (2 children)

how do you know they are disaffected. Maybe they are single and just fine with it.

[–] Master167@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

"Influence" numbers of Andrew Tate & Musk says otherwise. I'm also assuming a large following of those two are unhappy single men.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

We all know that isn't true

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Then perhaps we should expect changes/shifts in women's behavior to bridge the gap?

I don't think that cultural evolution is happening - look at Bumble, which had its premise/differentiation with women making the "first move." They eventually had to nix the feature, because...women didn't want to make the first move; they wanted to be pursued. Meanwhile, apps in general are just a minefield of emotional rejection, while Corporate ownership drags men through the muck as long as possible to get those $$$. So most men simply stop using apps and simply wait for some kind of IRL meet-cute. And that sparingly happens in a society that has very, very few places for non-commercial social overlap.

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 11 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Commercial dating apps are a failed idea. We need something better

[–] yeather@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago

4chan funded their own dating app. It was alright.

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world -2 points 4 days ago

~Like~ ~approaching~ ~women?~

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 8 points 5 days ago

Then they get to step up and approach men for a change.

[–] drascus@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago

well then they should step up and start asking people out instead of waiting for guys to do it.

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world -2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

people get rejected in ultra harsh ways, sometimes being filmed and then posted on social media for trying to ask someone out.

Are you sure this isn't exaggerating it a little? This may be anecdotal but I have never dealt with any such harsh rejection within my social circles (neither have my associates). What I'm trying to get at is that there may be a vocal minority that gets a lot of online attention.

Then again if thousands upon thousands of people see such a post (like on say r/Tinder) and take it as a common phenomenon it would still have the same effect.

[–] drascus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Really the fear of it happening is enough. All you have to do is have it happen once, or know someone that it happened to, or see a video of it for that to scare you off of even trying.

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

That sounds like an irrational fear if you ask me. Like with fear of flying.