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this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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The live action transformers movies.
Although I almost never think about it.
And I only saw the first thirty minutes of the first movie.
I've watched all of them. I was a TF fan as a kid. I watched it every morning before school and on Saturday mornings. The movies just....I don't know. The first one was the best of the live action. Bumblebee maybe. All of them felt more machine like, except the stupid peeing...wtf...
That said, they were not great. The story, on concept, seemed ok. The execution sucked. The acting was not great. The tropes were un needed, didn't even really fit in, and just plain stupid at best. Mostly they were irritating. Like someone dragging their nails on a chalk board in the middle of a mediocre movie.
The last couple felt more like an attempt at hero porn. [que "heroic" music, lame Walberg lines where he wields some weapon that makes no sense, then lots of booms. Don't forget the meaningless jumping, falling all over the place, and special forces that lean more on the special than forces.]
The only good thing that came out of them was the limited re release of the OG toys. I managed to finally snag an Optimus and a couple others.
Look I'm a simple man, I can't get enough of Optimus Prime's stellar voice work. :D
It's not an incredible franchise. But hey I think they had some fun with a series that was basically designed to sell 80's toys lol.
The best thing about the cartoon was Optimus Prime being 'best tv dad', megatron/galvatron's evil laugh and speeches, soundwave's voice, starscream scheming, starscream being killed off for being a whiny backstabber too many times, the art, the touch and the fact that all of the supporting cast that were good in their own right.
I watched it until the Megan Fox car breakdown scene and figured it wouldn't get better than that and stopped there. I don't remember anything else from the movie.
I admit that it surprised me it did well enough for sequels, when better films didn't, but I guess that's The Public for you.
It didn't. I managed to stay until one of the autobots had to take a leak. I was too insulted at that point. Megan Fox came across as an absolute bore, but of course the guy has to stammer and stumble and try to impress the dead weight.
Well, I wasn't looking at her for her acting. Some people are just nice to look at.
By absolute bore I also include her looks. I understand she is supposed to be pretty, but stone-faced is not my thing. Even with her licking-lip image I imagine her eyes staring at the latest gucci dress laced with diamonds or maybe even Bumblebee, but not a man.
Ah, you're clearly not objectifying women enough!
Do I need to qualify that so people know it's a joke? I feel as if I need to qualify that.