this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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Traditional dating (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

after a few times putting in effort and getting ghosted, you start to be a bit more frugal.

I see why that would happen but it seems like a self destructive strategy. The other person wasn't there for all your other attempts. This is your first interaction with them. If you half-ass it, all they see is you're doing a bad job at conversation. You only get one first impression with someone.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Right, but after enough failures the defeat becomes demoralizing. I'm not saying it isn't self-destructive, but human nature frequently is.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 2 points 11 hours ago

Yeah, can't disagree with that.

When I give people dating app advice, I tell them if they don't have the emotional resources to full-ass it, delete the app. Half-assing it is likely going to make things worse.

But humans aren't rational creatures.