this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Those who've ever cohabited, how have chores been shared? (lemmy.world)
submitted 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) by LadyButterfly@lemmy.world to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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Women still do the bulk of household chores, management, raising kids and the mental load of it all. When cohabiting, how have you shared them, and how did it effect you?

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[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know this sub so I hope it's ok for a man to respond. When I first got married I think my wife definitely did most of the chores. But when I retired and she kept working, I did most of the chores. Then she retired and I still do most of the chores.

But I have to admit I do most of the messing up. So it could be a reluctance to clean up after me. Although I'm not sure that true with for instance vacuuming, which I do.

An additional note though is that, is it fair to only consider chores in the division of labor? I mean I do all car and household repairs (and I'd like to point out we have three cars all over 20 years old so that's a lot of repairs). I'm also the only one who washes the cars. When the house gets painted, inside or out, that's 100% me.

I do most of the cooking and virtually all of the dishes. She does a ton of laundry. As a man, I only feel the need to do laundry when I'm running out of my plentiful underwear. She does laundry, I don't know, in her sleep even. I vacuum, she picks up around the house. Etc.

I can see that it would be a real problem if it's very one-sided, but I think you also have to look at the big picture. Just my $0.02.

[–] LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

Hi professor! Thanks so much for your 2 cents. We are women only so please don't comment again, thanks for understanding ♥️