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I'm impressed that you managed to reach gf level with someone like that.
If I can't get through a conversation with a person it's just like, too frustrating for me. Makes me feel crazy too. Like I know I'm being coherent but talking to someone like that makes me feel like I have to try extra hard to understand them even though they're the ones not making sense.
I'm not sure what it was like when we were first together, though we did drink wine and have some frustrating conversations even then.
Something less pernicious she does is just say things that are really vague, like not using enough words or specific enough words for me to have any idea what she's talking about. For example she'd might ask me "hey, will we have time today to do the other?" and i'd just be like what?? The other WHAT? And it would be something we were talking about the day before. With no context, there's no way at all I could ever have figured out what she meant. Or she'd tell me about news, like "Did you see what happened to him today? They're going to court!" And I'd just be ... WHAT? And it would turn out it wasn't something we were talking about or I was thinking about at all.
Ha ha, a great example just happened yesterday - we're talking about how she's getting her paintings to a show or something and out of nowhere she says "the numbers are looking really good". I was "what numbers?" She says "My numbers!" as if I'd know what that means. Sometimes I just ignore the bizarre out of context statements, but it's also really frustrating so I asked "WHAT NUMBERS? What does that mean??" "Oh, my social media views". Okay... maybe just say that in the first place.
Trying to do projects together was pure hell, or if she needed help with her computer, she'd say something like "the files all doubled up!" A lot of people are pretty bad at describing software issues though.