this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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I don't know where I saw it, and I can't seem to find it again, but I remember one video where a girl uses Cavill as an example of what SOME women find attractive. He's good-looking, yes, but what really got her was how he can talk about his interests with such passion. I'm obviously paraphrasing.
As someone with crippling ADHD, if impassioned talking about my interests is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Problem is, the same girl who finds it attractive will find it annoying in a week or two, and all of a sudden that thing she liked makes me a jerk.
If you can only talk about one thing with any level of passion, yeah people are gonna get bored.
I think a lot of younger folk online really misconstrue what it means to "get hobbies" or "just put yourself out there" and other tired cliches.
It doesn't mean having X hobby and just standing there around people is going to change how women look at you. It means you have to train your OWN brain to be more comfortable expressing yourself and finding new ways to feel about your situation or interests.
Basically, everyone whines endlessly how they wish they were someone else, but you can literally change who you are on a fundamental level by changing your environment enough and forcing yourself to feel new things. Brains just do that. But people resist the moment they feel something starting to change inside them and recoil as your ego tries to preserve itself. Then they make up reasons why they didn't commit to change and why they can't let go of their old-self.
Not too familiar with ADHD, are you?
Intimately familiar, that's where this kind of knowledge of how brains works comes from, this is process that most people who don't have ADHD go through naturally in the course of life, ADHD and ASD can make it so you end up stunted slightly and never develop the tools naturally for change and growth.
Yeah yeah well I'm sure I'll grow out of it.
I don't know what kind of care and support you're getting, but if you have an ADHD diagnosis, I hope you're aware that you still have agency and can still make major improvements to your life, it's just harder than it is for others. Depending on the severity of the symptoms. You don't just "grow out of it" normally, you DO have to make deliberate effort to improve the quality of your life if you want that, and that's one of the major differences between having ADHD and people who don't, the need to understand in greater detail how the brain works so you know how to manage it.
I'm being dismissive because it's not likely I'm going to stop talking about my interests any time soon and really don't care to, but thanks for the advice.
Nothing I said is to even suggest that you shouldn't talk about your passions, just that you can temper it and gain the emotional intelligence in how to make it engaging for others, but I do hope you continue to take care of yourself and seek the happiness you deserve.
edit: i so love how people are literally addicted to the idea that they can't change or be helped. We have truly given up as a species.