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this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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You doing okay?
Sorta, but not really. My family was doxxed by some bad people, and that caused my father to run away and back slip into drugs as his paranoid schizophrenia made him think that the death threats he was getting were real (which they were sorta real). We found him after being missing for a week. He was comatose, naked and covered in chemical burns.
After he got out of the hospital, I brought him to another state where I live to try to take care of him. Only he slipped out and found some random person who sold fent spiked meth.
I found him dead on my couch.
The paramedics tried to resuscitate him, but he was already gone.
I'm looking into therapy now as I can't get that image out of my head. Plus all the guilt of him dying in my care.
That's awful. I hope justice finds its way to the people who drove your father to this.
And I hope you manage to find some peace. Just know that the cruelty inflicted on him wasn't your fault.
Look into ART, it's the weirdest treatment I've been through, but it really helped the trauma I had when I was a teen.
Also, a couple of things:
You can't feel guilty. You did everything you could and therapy is definitely a good idea.