this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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A friend messaged me the other day. I saw it. I didn’t reply. A week later, I finally responded with the classic: Sorry for the late reply, just got to this.

She called me out. You didn’t just get to this, she said. I saw the double ticks.

Damn. She was right. I’d opened it. I’d registered it. But I’d also shelved it. It needed a proper reply, and at that moment, I wasn’t equipped.

Maybe it got lost between revisiting pictures from 2016 and the reminder I set to cancel my Nibble app 7-day trial on day 6. Maybe I got a call? Perhaps I’d wanted to sink back into that Substack article about reclaiming attention, ironically while still on social media. Maybe I was working one of the four jobs I need to survive under capitalism’s boot heel. Maybe I was doing nothing?

Does free time now equal availability?

I get a ping from the family group chat, which doubles as an IT helpdesk for my mum. My best friend just FaceTimed me about a White Lotus episode, and another left a voice note crying about a possible diagnosis. All this, lodged between videos of cats and genocide.

The boundaries between reception and response have collapsed.

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[–] Photuris@lemmy.ml 43 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

I let everyone know:

  1. Text messages are for asynchronous communication. That’s literally what they’re designed for. I will not communicate over texts synchronously.

  2. I will respond to texts within 2 days usually. Do not expect an immediate response.

  3. If you need me immediately or within short order, call me.

  4. If you call me for non-urgent matters that could have been handled over text, I might not pick up the phone right away. The boy who cried wolf, and all that.

  5. I do not always have my phone on me 24/7. Sometimes I am untethered. I return calls far more quickly than I respond to texts, because I assume a call is more important than a text. It had better be.

  6. If you call and I don’t pick up, leave a voicemail. If you don’t leave a voicemail, I assume it wasn’t important.

[–] PoisonedPrisonPanda@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you call and I don’t pick up, leave a voicemail. If you don’t leave a voicemail, I assume it wasn’t important

this a thousand times. IDK when people decided to not use the voicemail anymore.

But to be honest I make it more radical and not even return all calls. because. priority 1 - call, not answered but with a voicemail

priority 2 - unanswered call but a message sent afterwards.

priority 3 - message only.

an unanswered call on my side and no further information is for me simply to forget about it.

[–] Ulrich@feddit.org 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Voicemail is annoying. Please never leave me a voicemail. Just text me.

appearently when people call they do no like to text. because they have no hands free or whatever

so voicemail is the better option than simply be pissed because i never called back.

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