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But of course! The reporter dared to question the will of God. You see, God saw that wickedness had infiltrated the land of Texas, so he commanded the waves to rise, and strike this stronghold of debauchery! A functional warning system would interfere with God's Plan for those people. But the wise men running our nation decided to wait until God's Holy Work was completed, so as to not incur God's mighty wrath upon themselves! Praise to our most benevolent and merciful LORD!
And yes, this is evangelical roleplay. Sometimes I do it too well.
Sadly you mimic the small-minded willfully ignorant people who call themselves Christians too well. People like that really get on my nerves since it is painfully obvious that they don't know the Bible they claim to believe.
Isaiah 5:20 is always what comes to mind in scenarios like this (e.g. Trump calling accountability evil):
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
I've had lots of encounters with those Christian crazies. They tried to convert me twice.