Hi dad, unfortunately my biological dad doesn't offer me his support, so I write here.
I am 26 years old and I am living with my parents but I really wish I had the energies to move out. My parents are physically abusive towards one another, my mother suffers from schizophrenia and thinks everyone hates her, uses me as a punchbag for her emotions and criticizes all of my choices. My father cheats on her and is emotionally unavailable for me. If I were a normal person I'd just head out of here, but unfortunately "normal" I am not as I myself suffer from diagnosed general (and quite strong) anxiety and I think some depression as well and everything seems so difficult for me.
I also feel really ashamed for having failed college, sometimes I even feel 'stupid' because of it. Now I’m working as an unskilled employee, and it makes me afraid to move out because I constantly worry: will I be able to find another job?
On top of that, I feel a lot of pressure at work. I’m the only one who can maintain and develop the company’s software. While we have other team members, like an AI prompt engineer, a backup engineer, several people in sales, and a graphic designer, I’m the only actual developer. My colleagues have told me that if I left it would be very difficult for them to keep things running, and some even said they'd have to quit too. That kind of responsibility weighs heavily on me.
I'd also love to go back at college but time is running up before I lose the credits I acquired. But I don't know how I could study while also maintaining myself with a full time job.
Sorry dad for pouring all that on you. I really don't know what to do and I feel really lost. A hug would be more than enough.
everone has given great advice, and I have nothing much to add, so mostly commenting for a hug.
just remember - you are a developer - you are skilled. and since you are already working, you do not neccessarily need a college degree. You can always keep scaling up, learn new stuff, but a official degree is nothing much, but a certificate to prove that you can work. Since you already work, that is not required.
do not feel bad for others working in your company. I am not saying that do not feel bad if they also lave to leave job, but what I am saying is - do not take it personally. If they are close to you, they can probably understand your situation already.
I am sorry for your parents. I am not going to comment anything about your dad, but I can only make 1 request - If possible, when you move out, please take your mother. It would be better for her to not go through abuse, and it may lead to her health improving and maybe her behaviour improving towards you. But only do so if you are financially stable to support the atleast 2 of you.