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I took a lower-paying job that I was more competent to do.
Due to lower stress levels, somehow I spend less money and my finances are way better. For the record we’re talking about making $110k then vs making $45k now.
My finances are in better shape. I have cognitive surplus at the end of the day, and I think maybe that’s translating to less escape-seeking.
Also, this year I made a new year’s resolution: I am going to have $5k in the bank, come hell or high water. I’ve lived my whole life without a buffer and life without a buffer sucks so hard.
Just having that goal — $5k in the bank — has changed my whole relationship to money. I haven’t even hit the $5k. I’m at $3k and even that feels amazing. It doesn’t matter if my paycheck is late. I can just pay my rent. Moving into a new apartment and the agent was like “are you prepared to pay a deposit and first month today?” and I was like “yup”.
In the past I’d always answer like “Well my next paycheck is on such and such date and can I maybe pay you half then, then the other half two weeks after that?” I was always relying on the flexibility and mercy of financial gatekeepers.
I’m amazed how such a small amount of money (compared to the total flow) being held onto has changed my perception of myself. I feel like a “legit” person now. I feel like a stakeholder in society. I feel like an adult, instead of a boy in a man’s body. I don’t even know when my paydays are any more.
And my income didn’t really increase between the time I had no buffer and the time I did. I just made the resolution, and then started putting money away.
I think your experience that your finances are better on $45k than $110k is quite mysterious and could do with some further elucidation
Like I said I have cognitive surplus. I don’t have to mainline takeout, drugs, and impulse purchases to feel safe.
Drugs like prescription and over the counter stuff to deal with burnout, or drugs like street variety, risk your life to forget your troubles drugs?
Yeah, these three categories explain the difference to me. Good for you, getting your life in order and starting to budget/manage money!
For me, mostly pot, but also prescription drugs to get to sleep, to try and focus, etc. I did adderall for a while, ritalin, modafinil, microdosed with LSD, I did neurofeedback training.
And I ate out like crazy.
I mean, I might be able to handle a dev job now. I had some health issues going on before that job, and my housing situation was unstable, so I never really had a moment when I was just waking up, going to work, coming home, and being alone.
Now Im doing a job that’s so relatively easy (and hourly meaning I can just turn it off when I come home) that even living with a roommate and rarely getting that alone time, Im okay.
I forgot I also would get a hotel room or airbnb occasionally just to have alone time, I did bodywork and float sessions. I spent a lot of money managing my brittle brain.
Actually my intention is to go back to something like that. But the goal was to first learn to manage money, before I got the big salary again. Because I learned that I can earn six figures and still be paycheck to paycheck, so it’s pointless for me to take on all that stress if at the end of two years I’m still gonna be broke due to bad financial habits.
However, more fundamental than financial habits was self care habits. When moment to moment consciousness is comfortable, you don’t need much to be happy.
So for that, the men’s group is a really big factor. AND doing a job so far within my sphere of competence that I have no question of being able to perform.
What a crazy life. I don't think you have a fragile mind, I think you had a series of impossible goals and incredible pressure to achieve them all. Together with some questionable to bad coping mechanisms, you were on a dark path. I'm so glad you're on a better path, with goals for the future and a better grasp of what is important in life.
Not sure how much income taxes are for you but the gross difference is $65k and I'll assume you take home at least half of that. So $32k. Just curious like which specific categories of items were costing you tens of thousands of dollars that you were able to cut out? Is this the famous American medical expenses mainly? Just trying to be able to understand
I don’t know man. The bank account I had then is closed.
I was using a thing called Tiller to pull my finances and categorize but it stopped working with my bank and I never found a good alternative.
Not OP, but... I took a pay cut years ago not as dramatic of a cut about 104k to 72k. I no longer had to drive to work but took a bus so I saved 90 miles (145 km) a day in driving. So I had a big savings on gas, and car, and with the time savings I could switch my kid to a regular daycare because I no longer needed extended hours. I had more free time to cook all of our meals so I had a big savings on food versus take out all the time. I also had the time to do work on my house versus hiring out. I cut back on vacation budgets but we had time to get out of the house and play at the parks and trails nearby every day. All and all a cut in income but a big increase in enjoyment in life. For savings I was able to save about the same between the two jobs.
Easy to believe that you improved quality of life and achieved some savings, but the other poster specifically cited improvements in financial health after >50% cut which has me puzzled
I agree. I'd love it if I could take a less demanding job. Burnout sucks and I would love to have more time for my family and hobbies.
I just can't see how that would work between paying my home loan and other living expenses.
I don't know if that would work for me, but that's super interesting, thank you for sharing!