Betterment and Praxis

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Alternatives to calling the police (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by PotentiallyAnApricot@beehaw.org to c/betterment@beehaw.org

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how, with things exactly as they are (so, without the community resources, policy changes, and ideas that would ideally exist in the future) I might want to respond to a situation in which I feel threatened. There is not a particularly strong sense of community in my geographic area, and I cannot think of any ‘people i know’ who I would feel comfortable calling for help were I to need it. I’m thinking primarily of abusive people, threats to my safety, dangerous behavior, and the like - I think drugs are a medical issue and being robbed would suck but that’s also not necessarily going to become personal if it’s just about money. Has anyone here read about, or practiced, any methods for deescalating, defending against, or getting out of such situations without having to ask the police? I would like have some of these ideas thought through and waiting in the back of my mind before I actually need them.

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[–] Lowbird@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago

The person who recommended actual de-escalation courses is right and is more knowledgeable on the topic than me and has already answered this thoroughly.

However, I highly recommend looking up "conflict resolution" workshops, specifically for the "mirror, empathize, validate" ideas. It's really worth going through a whole workshop/watching a whole video on this, even though it might seem like it'd be trite on the surface. Similarly, "active listening" is another term one might look up.

And for what it's worth, I have found the "nonviolent communication" philosophy to be helpful on a personal level. I don't fully buy into all of it - for one, at least in its original form it disregards the reality of societal level problems, racism, sexism, institutional hierarchies under capitalism, and disabilities - but even so, I find some of it really compelling. Here's a series of youtube videos about it, by the philosophy's founder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZnXBnz2kwk&list=PLPNVcESwoWu4lI9C3bhkYIWB8-dphbzJ3. Again, I don't know if there is any research done to support or contradict the various parts of this (if anyone knows, I'd be interested to learn more, either way), but on a personal level I have found it very helpful to consider, especially because it questions some assumptions that are so universal I hadn't previously thought to question them.

I wonder, also, if it might be possible to find resources to learn about how to more accurately assess whether a situation/person is threatening or not in the first place. And of course being aware of your own potential biases is important here.

Also, if you find yourself, say, alone in a waiting room with a creepy seeming person, or on a sidewalk at night with some random other person(s) who is probably totally innocent but is giving you the heebie jeebies for whatever reason - never forget you can fake a phone call. Or really call someone, and talk about whatever. People are less likely to attack someone who is talking on the phone since that adds a witness, though a distant one. And as a bonus, it'll make you seem less threatening to the other people, too, in case they have the same problem.