Ask Lemmy

I'm guessing here but I think you are asking this question in a cultural space that is pretty far removed from your own.

From a super individualistic Western perspective everyone seems to be saying fuck no, cut off the rot, look after yourself.

In many other cultures, the family unit remains extremely strong throughout life and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.

I watched some Vietnamese school friends of mine go from fresh off the boat with nothing, to owning half of the businesses in their town as well as MASSIVE generational wealth that will never go away.

They spread like a beautiful, productive fungus across their suburb by working together. First they all lived in one house, some worked, some started businesses. ALL of the money coming in paid off that house quickly, then they had two houses. Repeat the same again. Now they have 3 houses, all paid for. Now some money goes in to private schools for all the kids, university for all the kids. Now the kids are culturally obligated to contribute to the scheme with their high paying jobs as doctors and pharmacists.

The Vietnamese bakery in the small set of local shops has now bought out the butcher and the video store, the video store has become a pharmacy owned by the first two graduated children, then they bought the grocery store and the nail salon. Then they bought more profitable businesses in town: drive-through liquor stores and tobacconists.

We're already talking millions of dollars per year of income. 3 houses has become 13 houses. Each Vietnamese family unit now has a house of their own and they are all paid for. The rest are rental income to add to the stack. They financially support their local temple, and they pay to bring more and more family members over who rapidly become productive members of the scheme.

At this point, they are unstoppable and it's all because they were prepared to work together and endure that short term pain of overcrowded shared dwellings and give 100% of their income to the cause. Now they will all live comfortable lives together and have a myriad of passive income streams. The old people are taken care of, those who fall on hard times are taken care of.

I guess what I am saying is, on the surface it seems extremely unfair - but it sounds like you are part of a cultural support system that would absolutely catch you if you fall.

Further still, you are not being charged any rent or living expenses. Being able to save 50% of your income is not normal for 99% of people so you are already feeling the benefit of that safety net.

If you don't feel like it's for you and you want to get out of it I say that's fine, you're not bound to anyone. But if that is how you feel then you should immediately move out and truly go it alone.

I'd just warn you that many Westerners see the wisdom in the system you seem to have and wish that their own family unit could be so strong and cohesive. We really can accomplish a lot more together than we can as individuals.