this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
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Wow. If those PCs could read, they'd be very upset.
That being 15 minutes to tell stupid jokes, and 15 more to burn down the building and leave.
Almost happened in the last Warhammer session I was in. DM made a door that had three locks depending on knowing alchemical symbols, formulae, and the geocentric model. Because the GM forgot that Warhammer doesn't have a flat "magic knowledge" roll like Arcana in D&D 5e, the party mage doesn't know anything, the rest of the party was illiterate, and everyone got so frustrated that everyone except my character tried either breaking the door or entering through the window while the wizard was still home and foiling their attempts. To our credit, we were able to figure out the first two locks with trial and error, with the first being a very simple balancing of the four elemental triangles around a plus sign in a plus shape, and the other being three symbols in a vertical line, the problem was seven symbols to be arranged in a circle. After my party face character shook herself from her puzzle frustration and realized that the wizard is actually home, she just asked him for what we came here for, he was cordial about it, and we left when we got it. During that time, the GM gave the solution (because Wizards are assholes that love to brag about their genius to the stupids) which taught us that in geocentricity, neither Venus nor Mars are closer to Earth than Mercury is, and the sun is between Venus and Mars because of course it is.
This is actually (kind of) true, mercury is the closest planet to every planet on average
I more meant the layers of their concentric orbits as distanced from their center (the Sun or the Earth). Considering how quickly Mercury orbits the Sun while being the closest planet to it, it makes sense it'd be at perigee more frequently and with less variable distance than other planets that have a wider orbit.
What's funny is that no one's mentioned Ironsworn's slew of random tables that are completely free online, much less the wealth of similar on Perchance. 🤓