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First of all, I can really empathize with your anxieties. I've lost contact with a few penpals years ago because of similar issues and I still hate myself for it.
I don't use chat-gpt for writing my replies, because my English is crap and my manner of writing distinct enough that any friend can immediately spot a real response from a generated one (not enough smileys for one :)
But I still have similar anxieties. So if I feel anxious about writing something, I do sometimes give a general description of the original mail ("A friend of mine wrote about her mother's funeral", "a family member lost his cat", etc.) and give it the reply I've written so far (names and personal details removed).
I then explain that I feel anxious about my reply and worry if I hit the right tone. I never ask it to write for me, only to give critique where necessary and advice on how to improve (for good measure I always add some snide remarks on how it sounds too fake to ever pass as a human so don't even bother trying, which it always takes in good humor because.. well.. AI :)
I ignore most of the suggestions because it sounds like a corporate HR communique. But, what's more important is that it usually tries to tell me that I was thoughtful, considerate and that that little light-hearted joke at the end was just sweet enough to add a personal touch without coming across as insensitive.
Just to get some positive feedback, even from software that was designed specifically for that purpose, gives me that little push to hit the send button and hope for the best. I wouldn't dare to ask someone else for advice because it would be an admission of how weak and insecure I feel about expressing myself in the first place, which would ramp up my anxiety by making it a 'big thing'.
Anyway, I can understand the animosity people show against AI. And I'm happy for those who don't need or want it.
PS: This reply was 100% written without any use of AI, direct or indirectly. I did spend a good half hour on it before feeling confident enough to hit "Post" :)
This is pretty much how I use it as well!! I wasn't very detailed in the op.
And yes, the positive feedback is gold!