this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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Substitute a race-based term for trans in your statement - that “normal” people don’t feel comfortable around black people because they just want to avoid them - but it’s not racism.
You might not feel comfortable around terms that have a specific meaning - like transphobia - but you should at least recognize that you’re redefining them to make yourself feel okay about them. What you’re describing is, in fact, transphobia. It is exactly analogous to feeling uncomfortable around black people but not wanting to label it racism.
You make a good point but I don't agree it's transphobia still.
We pick people to be around from a number of reasons. Usually because they make us feel good and have similar culture. This is why people of similar culture usually ends up living in the same places. This is why similar people become friends.
There are entire cities in Spain where only Nordic people live. And same thing in other countries. This is because they want to live near people with the same culture.
Trans people is something new and different, and it will take time before everyone is comfortable around them. This is not transphobia (irrational fear) or racism. This is human nature.
With time, it will become normal for people to have trans people around. But today it's unusual and people need to adapt to it.
I'm arguing that to make it easier to get to know Trans people, we have every opportunity here on Lemmy for example. If everyone remains friendly.
It is irrational. Just because you believe that various forms of xenophobia (writ large) are “human nature” does not make them rational. Phobias are irrational (that is ‘without reason’) by definition, and attempting to redefine a phobia from a clinical diagnosis to a justification based on your perception that people are inherently prejudiced is itself irrational.
Racists use exactly the same arguments. Racists argue for ethnostates on the basis of segregation being natural. They globalize their experiences and prejudices as universal rather than swing them as maladaptive opinions fueled by a cultivated hatred and distrust.
People are more than welcome to participate in LGBT communities, but they should recognize that those people are, in fact, people. They should recognize that they may come across like that scene in Blast from the Past where Brendan Fraser says “Bless my stars, a negro!” if they’re going to be like that, but there’s a world of difference between an ignorant but well meaning person and someone who both has embraced and propounds phobic talking points.
It's not a phobia so it's not irrational. I've tried to explain the reasons above but I don't think you agree, which is fine. According to your definition, everyone who feel uncomfortable around trans people are transphobic, which is absurd to me and I strongly disagree with that.
With that logic, I am also a racist if I prefer being around people from the same skin color and culture. Then almost everyone on the planet is a racist because they don't enjoy hanging out with other cultures (like I said above, people tend to group up and be friends with other similar people).
You cannot define medical terms to suit your need to feel like you are not irrationally prejudiced. Acrophobia, which I suffer from, is an irrational fear. As an evolutionary biologist, I can explain in a great level of detail how acrophobia can emerge in an evolutionary context and how it can have a physiological as well as a conditioned component. That doesn’t mean that it’s not irrational for me to feel fear while standing at the edge of a perfectly safe bridge.
Feeling uncomfortable around trans persons is transphobic, full stop. Feeling uncomfortable around black people is racist, full stop. If people are acting in a threatening manner - physically or verbally abusing people around them, for example - then it’s perfectly rational to feel uncomfortable because it is rational to fear for your own safety. If you’re uncomfortable because Bob the Drag Queen is wearing a dress and kissing a man, though, that’s on you.
Homophilia - the tendency for birds of a feather to flock together - is literally one of my major research areas and I have literally taught entire courses on it, where we study the origins and causes of the tendencies, how the base attribute is confounded by contagion of ideas between people, and why it is toxic and destructive in modern contexts.
I understand what you're saying. There's some degree of internalized transphobia that many trans people experience, themselves. More trans people around will mean that others will interact with them more and realize that they're just normal people. Your point here that aversion to trans people is not transphobia is the same argument that homophobes have made for decades. A phobia is not just an irrational panic-inducing fear. Your point here is just pedantic and wrong.
What we don't need on Lemmy is to have posts and comments that make trans people feel like they aren't welcome or feel like they're different for just expressing themselves authentically.
Edit: Also just to be clear, I don't necessarily think you're a bad person. You seem more open to discussing these issues and basically saying "yeah trans people can do their thing over there if they want" which is better than a lot of the people who are actively trying to rid the world of trans people. I think you're kind of on the right path but I hope that in time, you realize that some of your preconceptions aren't necessarily right. For example, saying that people like to be around people who are similar to them isn't necessarily wrong but applying it to gender expression or race would be considered transphobic or racist. I'm friends with people who share hobbies or interests with me. Their physical attributes don't change that at all. Be around people for the content of their character, not for how they look.