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So are they hateful of gay people because of 'some bullshit by society' or are they not hateful?
This is called Victim Blaming (the caps are for the concept, not the literal pairing of words) because it implies it's the role of every minority to convince people not to oppress them, and not on the individual to not be a bigot. To see why this is the issue it is, replace 'being gay' with 'being raped' - is it, say, a woman's 'job' to convince men not to rape them, or is it on men to know not to rape people?