this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
1023 points (97.1% liked)

Lemmy Be Wholesome

6908 readers
31 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Be Wholesome. This is the polar opposite of LemmeShitpost. Here you can post wholesome memes, palate cleanser and good vibes.

The home to heal your soul. No bleak-posting!

Rules:


1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means: -No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. No NSFW Content


-Content shouldn't be NSFW

-Refrain from posting triggering content, if the content might be triggering try putting it behind NSFW tags.


7. Content should be Wholesome, we accept cute cats, kittens, puppies, dogs and anything, everything that restores your faith in humanity!


Content that isn't wholesome will be removed.

...


8. Reposting of Reddit content is permitted, try to credit the OC.


-Please consider crediting the OC when reposting content. A name of the user or a link to the original post is sufficient.

...


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Lemmy Review

2.Mildly Infuriating

3.Lemmy Shitpost

4.No Stupid Questions

5.You Should Know

6.Jokes

7.Credible Defense

...

Reach out to LillianVS for inclusion on the sidebar.

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Badabinski@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'm sorry you had such a poor experience with men and relationships. It's not my place to speculate, but it sounds like you may have had some really harrowing experiences. It's good that you've found a lifestyle that makes you happy. Your first comment in this thread is really painful to read and makes me very sad. It's also not my place to debate with you about whether or not your comment is right/good, so instead I'll just share some of my background and why I feel pain when I read it.

I was absolutely raised to be "manly." My father, the Boy Scouts, popular media—all of it seemed like it was encouraging me to just "toughen up" and be strong. Nobody ever talked to me about feelings except anger. My dad was a great role model for anger. However, I was small. I was weak. I had allergies and asthma. I was sensitive and scared of violence. I cried easily. I was cuddly. It was very difficult for me to square what was expected of me with the reality of who I was, so for a long time I was just angry and numb and tried to hide.

I had a series of relationships where I failed to be emotionally present with my partner and rather than fixing it, I just emotionally whipped myself raw in front of them. I thought that punishment was the only way to be accepted. I finally met someone who showed me what it was to feel and helped me see a therapist. I was able to unpick a lot of the "manly" crap, and nowadays I'm pretty happy in my skin. I crochet with my partner. We talk freely and openly about our feelings. We call each other disgustingly cute pet names. We hold each other and cry when bad things happen. We both continue to go to therapy, and we're always looking for ways to improve and deepen our relationship.

For all of that, there's still the old raw spot in my mind. Inside of me, I'll always have that kid who just wanted a hug and instead got contempt and judgement. He was so lonely and miserable and felt like there wasn't anything nice in the world for him. He felt so confused and broken and wrong, because why couldn't he just be manly? Why couldn't he be a rock? That's the raw spot that your comment pokes for me. I suspect I'm not alone in that.

Having typed all that out, I guess I'll make one request. I don't know what exactly you went through, and I sure as hell won't invalidate it, whatever it was. All I'd ask is that you consider that there may be more than just sex and hate in the heart of the men you walk by. You don't have to be in a relationship or like men or want to be around them, but the world might seem like a bit better of a place for you.