this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
54 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

22848 readers
283 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net
replaceable@hexbear.net
VILenin@hexbear.net
EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net
SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net
ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net
khizuo@hexbear.net
Sulvor@hexbear.net
54
Would someone please help me understand when using "they" as a catch-all pronoun is transphobic? (hexbear.net)
submitted 11 months ago by Acute_Engles@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The important distinction is what it means for it to "be clear". Unless someone has indicated what their pronouns are, using they/them for everyone is the polite option. But if you're using he/him for strangers just because they're "clearly a cis man", you're now imposing a transphobic bias on those whom you use they/them

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But if you're using he/him for strangers just because they're "clearly a cis man"

Right, but OP was saying they're using They/Them in cases of ambiguity and getting called out for it

[–] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

They were called out for using they/them in cases with no ambiguity, as in, there was a known desired pronoun and they used they/them instead