this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Had an Italian friend (as in, from Italy, not someone whose great great great great grandpappy once snorted a line of parmesan) tell me the reason for this.
Italian women are notoriously hard to woo, and will resist all advances to appear "hard to get"
Italian men (As in, actually Italian, not people who think obnoxious behaviour can be excused by far-removed genetics) realise that it's way easier to try and get their balls emptied chasing slappers called Sharon from Essex
A compounding factor is that (actual) Italian men are used to hard to get women, and their efforts are therefore scaled for such challenge. Never have I seen men try so fucking hard to chat up anything within sight than Italians.
I still vividly remember seeing a bunch of them moving through the nightclub crowd, chatting up women one after the other, failing, immediately moving on to the next one, etc.
(One could argue it's the other way around : Italian women have developed a resilience up to the challenge of the insatiable appetites and relentless advances of Italian men)
Ahh the Boomhauer method.
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
I went to Italy twice as a teenager with my soccer team. We were in a fresh air market in Herculaneum? I think and nearby traffic was stopped. We were all together, wearing our uniforms with a USA badge and the amount of young women who literally crawled out of stationary vehicles to come talk to us was mind blowing. It was heaven. Spanish steps when i was 16 was the closest thing this country bumpkin had been to heaven at that time in my life.
Literally crawled? 🤨
You know how the front seats have to push really far forward in a 2 door sedan for those back passengers to get out? Ever see someone try to get out faster than the person in the front seat can allow? Wiggle? Squeeze? Crawl? I dunno.
Out of stationary vehicles. It would've been even more impressive if they'd literally crawled out of moving vehicles.
They were young
Lived something maybe similar in south of France in the nineties.
I stayed though :-D
I was just in Roma last year for two months. I assure you, I had several women hit on me while out and about once I became a common patron of the local bar. I’m 6’, American and only slightly chubby. But that’s all I have going for me in looks, just average. And they could care less that I was American (except one girl). I was still happily (more like blindly) married at the time, so not much happened (divorce was the ex’s ask 3 days after we returned) and was using the bar for good views and language immersion.
You want to know my thoughts on why women there play hard to get: according to a few chats the men are often underemployed or have near zero prospects to be better than above poverty. and according to one woman, a guy she dated just wanted her to cook, clean, and have babies; yep, he just wanted a new mamma with privileges.
So while I was married and my situation unique, I expect woo’ing an Italian woman to be not as hard as you say. I volunteer to go back and test this theory.
Oh, and a slam to my ex. I dedicated 10 years of our much longer marriage to do her family research so she could get her Italian by blood citizenship. That trip was our celebration of obtaining it and to review areas for buying a house. I will now and forever just consider her a Parmesan snorting fake. It was Facebook bragging rights and shit more.
Seems to be the vibe with most women in these countries with supposed fertility crises,
If married family life didn't look like such a shit prospect financially, socially, mentally, really in any dimension, far less women would be holding out for obviously more wealthy potential matches like tourists who were able to afford a long distance ticket from another continent and ocean away.
Economist friend of mine has given me multiple rants about how the single biggest indicator of near future fertility trends is housing affordability, baby boom happened when subsidized home financing was backed the most by the government for example.
A tad unrelated, but I just want to say sorry about your ex. Hope you're doing better now.
Thanks. Hard at first but getting easier. Oddly, this post inspired me to think about going back and checking out the dating scene. Best of both worlds.
Hey, I feel you, man. To a crazy degree, in fact: with little difference except swapping out Italy for N. Ireland. 🤷🏼♂️
Yeah, hit hard for sure. Now I’m stuck in a future where my EU goals force me to consider not dating till I’m there, or worse, be far more selective when dating local as now need to tell potential partners that I’m not staying in the USA. People think this sounds amazing, but it’s a whole life move.
I hope you’re healing.
I mean…this is a uniquely American thing, right? Nowhere else is it so common to behave this way, right? Glorifying far flung ancestors for some, really, more adopted identity than anything else.
Until recently immigrant communities would tend to stay insular within the US, so folks that still identify by those communities are probably carrying on from a communal identity from when their family lived in a neighborhood that basically was just a very far removed exclave of the country of origin.
Most Americans who identify that way though are more or less just speaking superficially and would think it's weird of someone who doesn't even do the feast of seven fishes to claim they're as italian as someone from Rome.
Only reason I feel right calling myself Palestinian American beyond mere statement of heritage for example is because I actually am putting work in learning shami and some of the culture, even made sure to get my first Kufiya from a legit family owned shop in Palestine.
In all fairness, you could swap out "American" for any colonizer nation...
It is often a little depressing for Italian women when they move to Northern Europe, because the lack of people aggressively hitting on them makes them feel unattractive.
By "agressive hitting on them" are we talking about catcalling or just men giving them compliments?