this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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Not being able to hold down a job because of mental illness and depression but not being able to get any kind of assistance because I didn't have a medical history or a doctor to confirm I had any problems but not being able to see any doctors because I couldn't afford one since I could hardly hold down a job. Having to pick between being homeless or having to live in abusive situations and was constantly having suicidal thoughts. Covid was the best thing that ever happened to me because that two grand got me a shitty car and I milked the rent relief they had in my state for as long as I could until I found a job that doesn't immediately make me want to die. Also I'm pathetically allergic to work and I hate nap times.
This is nearly identical to my own story. For me, severe depression and autism basically determine what I'm able to tolerate. I've found that out over many painful years. The jobs that are typically easiest for me to get, for example bottom-tier factory/linework and customer service shit, I literally cannot bear mentally. I just can't fucking do them. I borderline lose my sanity and cannot control my anger under those conditions, wondering how the fuck the majority ever allowed the abusive minority to herd so many working class into such inhumane conditions.
The rage I've accumulated through years of being forced into whatever coercive, low paying, dead-end jobs I was barely able to get hired for where the workers are treated as disposable trash to be used like slave mules could ignite a new fucking sun. Trying to simply exist and not be homeless (which I have been, more than once) under capitalism is a living nightmare.